Welcome to the Ruby Aro journal. This is a place where no question is a stupid question, but it’s also not your average “sexy blog”. How? As you read our stories, you’ll soon see why.
Here, you’ll read interviews, op-eds, and essays from women that have had all kinds of sexual experiences and expertise. We all have one thing in common: we’re taking back our own sexual power.
Here, also you’ll read about triumph, pain, heartbreak, embarrassment, joy, pleasure, and shame. You’ll read about the raw and the honest. Sometimes it can be difficult to know whether or not you’re normal or whether or not your concerns are valid when it comes to female sexuality and pleasure. The blog posts on this website are written by real women who have had similar, if not the same questions that you have! Through our stories, we hope you see that you’re not alone. And then, we hope that you join us in sharing your stories. We are louder, stronger, and braver together.
On the Ruby Aro journal, there’s no room for shame; we’ve been shamed for our sexuality for far too long. We’ve been told to be small, to be silent, and to be selfless. Here, we take up space. We voice what we enjoy, who we enjoy, and how we enjoy it all.
What there is room for on this blog is dialogue, community and honest stories. When you read through the work on this blog, the foundations of healthy sex are implied. It can be summed up in one word: Safety.
That means the safety of your physical health and of your mental health in 4 ways:
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Sex that is consensual is foundational.
Consent is not just a “yes.” It’s an enthusiastic “yes.” If you feel uncomfortable at any point, you can say no. If you’re not in the right mental space, you can say no. If you change your mind, you can say no. All sexual acts should operate from a place of consent, and anything that isn’t consensual is sexual assault or rape.
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Sex that is respectful of your boundaries is foundational.
You get to choose who you have sex with, when you have sex with them, and how you have sex with them. Remember—your body, your rules. Regardless of who you’re having sex with, they need to respect your boundaries for what you do or don’t want during sex. Communication is key.
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Sex that is protected from unwanted pregnancy and disease is foundational.
Sex should not be dangerous, and asking about protective measures should be the norm. Your body is sacred and your health is priceless. Getting tested routinely and talking about it with your sexual partners is crucial to safe sex, as is discussing birth control prevention if pregnancy is a possibility.
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Sex that is pleasurable is foundational
The narrative around female sexual pleasure has been associated with unwanted pain and uncomfortability. That’s not only a lie, but if you feel any unwanted pain during sex you should talk to a doctor about it. The only pain that you should be experiencing is pleasurable pain.
As you read through our stories, know that they are always founded upon these foundations. These are the basic requirements when it comes to sex, and we would never encourage anything otherwise. They require you to advocate for yourself, and we hope that we’re able to show you how other women have advocated for themselves.
As you read through the blog, you may come across terms or activities that you’re unfamiliar with. Please don’t just go out and try it out without getting more information. The wonderful thing about the internet is that there are so many sex education resources out there. There are also so many great sex educators out there. We recommend you utilize these resources to their full extent, and then come back and join in the candid conversations with other women on this site.
We’re laying this out in this intro blog post, covering the basics, so that you can dive deep into the rest of our posts. With all that said, Ruby Aro welcomes you on this journey of transparency. No more secrets, no more shame.
Sex Education Resources To Utilize: